Working, Schooling and Connecting at Home

Our “new normal” is feeling very new and anything but normal. With parents working from home and kids learning at home, it can be hard to balance our time, space and energy.

We have put together a few ideas that we hope will make this time a little easier - and more restful - for you. And we would love to hear what you are doing. How are you using your space in creative ways, what are you doing to keep anxiety at bay for the children and adults in your household? Have you discovered any special, unexpected moments of connection in all of this togetherness? Jump over to our Facebook Page and share your stories, thoughts and ideas.

With these questions in mind, this is some of what we are learning (and we certainly are learning… a little more every day).

Make a (Flexible) Schedule

Children in particular thrive on routines, so this disruption of their normal schedules can leave them feeling anxious, unfocused, and confused. Be patient with their reactions and give them time to adjust.

At the same time, set up a new schedule that works for your children and your family. If you are sharing devices for distance learning, make sure that you understand who needs to do what, when, and for how long. Build the daily must-dos that your children have for their schoolwork into a structured day that is similar to (but does not strive to be exactly the same as) their typical school day.

Emma Matthews/Unsplash

While the schedule will help to save your sanity and go a long way to keeping your kids feeling calm and cared for, do remember that this new normal of ours offers us the chance to slow down our pace a bit. After all, we are not rushing anywhere or building in time for commutes. Use that extra time to add outdoor activities, more creative time, and longer periods of time to accomplish daily tasks. This contributes to an easier flow of the day and helps to reduce some of the stress that starts to sneak up on us when we are trying to apply our typical ways of doing things to a situation that is anything but typical.

Practice a New Skill

Speaking of using the extra time that we have been given, think about those projects that we are constantly putting off because we have so many other things to do… so many other places to be. Pick up an old instrument and refresh your skills. Tackle a home decorating project. Invite your kids to do the same.

Work on language learning, either as a supplement to a language your child is learning in school, or as a brand new family adventure. Apps like Memrise, Rosetta Stone, and many others offer great options.

Gather in the kitchen and learn how to cook a new type of cuisine. Invite your children to research some of the foods you are making, to decorate the table according to a theme, and to help you create a festive meal.

Learning new skills together helps us to stay connected to each other in a low stress way. You can support each other well when you learn from and with each other, as a team.

Honor Each Others’ Needs

Experiences like this one bring out people’s personalities, needs, preferences, and fears in a pointed way. Be attuned to that for every member of your family, and for yourself. This time of social distancing can be especially challenging for extroverts.

If your child thrives on social interaction, come up with safe, fun ways for them to connect with their friends, classmates, and extended family members. Consider a virtual play date on Skype or Facetime. Allow your kids a little extra time to make a phone call to a friend. Encourage them to write old fashioned letters to friends and family members, to draw pictures, or invent games that they can share with each other via snail mail or email.

Ben Mullins/Unsplash

Consider also that, if you are like many of us, in addition to balancing the needs of the children in your home, you also must account for the needs of the adults in your home. With parents working from home, it is difficult not to bring the stress and energy of a busy or difficult work day to the other members of the family. Be mindful of deadlines, work styles, and learning styles of everyone in your house. If mom needs to be on a conference call at 2:00 p.m., that might be a good time for the kiddos to take a break with a favorite TV show or movie, or to do their daily reading for school.

Communication is key to making sure everyone’s needs are understood and accounted for. Consider holding a brief morning or evening meeting to discuss the must dos, should dos, and concerns about the day to come. Work together to plan your day around that, and remember to let each other know that you value them and that you - and we - are stronger together.

Elizabeth Eames, March 18, 2020




Maybe the fact that we can't slow down time is not a bad thing

Often as my son heads back to school, I am reminded of the "what I learned on my summer vacation" assignment.  Since I am always looking for new ways to tell stories and learn lessons from my experiences and the experiences of those around me, I explored the question for myself.

The answer might be a bit surprising, and I am excited to share it with you and to hear your thoughts.

What I learned on my summer vacation is this: maybe the fact that we can't slow down time is not a bad thing.

The speed at which time moves, which seems to feel even faster for parents, as we all can attest, reminds us that these moments are worth preserving, remembering and returning to for glimpses at what was and clues into what is to come.

On our annual trip to Cape Cod, it struck me how much my son has grown over the year since we last visited our favorite place.  His observations, insights and interests have changed so much.  It made me nostalgic for the moments we have shared - the times when he needed to hold my hand on our hikes, the times before he was able to swim on his own.  At the same time, I felt proud to share this life with him, proud of who he is and who he is becoming. 

I can picture him now bringing his own family here, telling me stories and making me laugh, as he has always done so brilliantly.

This is why, for me, documenting moments so that we are able to return to those stories, those jokes, those moving images of our lives up to this point is such a unique and beautiful gift.  All of those moments have led us to the here and now and they pave the way for the future.

As I celebrate change and look ahead to growth and opportunities for my family, I am all the more grateful to have small, treasured moments in time that I am able to view and to share.  I see now so clearly that our story is woven with what was, what is, and what will be, and I can’t imagine what it would be like to leave even one chapter of that story undocumented and uncelebrated.

A Surprise Party

This past Sunday my sister visited us for brunch.  I cooked and then we went for a walk to the local playground. We hung out there for a while and then went home.  That was when an incredible thing happened: I was given a surprise birthday party. 

If you know me, you know that I LOVE my birthday. I love everything about it, the gathering of friends, the well wishes and of course the cake. I feel deeply grateful to be alive every year and I love celebrating that. But a surprise party - wow!!! That takes the feeling to a whole other level. It was incredible. 

And that got me thinking about surprises - how they feel and what they bring up for us. After feeling the adrenal rush from the surprise, I was, of course, happy and filled with gratitude. A surprise party forces presence. You are with your feelings in that moment. And everyone attending is with you in that moment, those feelings, as well. It is a pretty miraculous thing.

A couple of the kids there had never been to a surprise party.  They were riveted and excited. Even my son, who is pretty cool most of the time, said, "Mind Blown, Mom." 

I wondered how could we prepare our kids for such quick gear shifts, when surprises come in the form of parties, or other unexpected events. Is there some way to teach our children ease and peace in these kinds of situations? And at the same time how do we encourage the fun and exuberance that they feel naturally? 

Most of all, and my surprise party was still another way to reinforce this lesson, we need to teach our children that the passage of time is important and meaningful, as is the ability to be present to experience the moments that mark, and make our time together. 

It is truly incredible that we get to be here every new year, celebrating, and it is my birthday wish that we continue to do so, by sharing our stories and documenting our lives, together.