When we create Mitzvah Montages and Movies we are are doing more than creating a montage or movie that guests will enjoy and remember. We are documenting a transforming, exciting, and not entirely easy time in the life of an almost-teenager.
This is one reason why we consider it such an honor to create Mitzvah Movies and Montages. It is also why we pay special attention to communicate directly with the mitzvah child and to make sure that their voice is heard and that they are comfortable with every step of the process. And proud of the final result.
Understand Their Expectations
This is a busy time for our kids. They are at an age when they have very specific expectations, and meeting those expectations feels especially important. They are attending their friends’ bar and bat mitzvahs, they’re spotting trends and coming up with their own ideas.
All of this means that our bar and bat mitzvah kids are in that delicate space where the desire to fit in and the desire to stand out feel equally strong. When we create montages and movies, we jump right into this space. So we take extra time to hear what our young clients want. We work together with them to understand their expectations and to create a film that makes them feel comfortable, confident, and excited to share.
Let Them Make Decisions
Before you connect with our Portraits that Move filmmakers, we recommend that you sit down and talk with your daughter or son about their own ideas for their mitzvah film. Ask them what moments stand out to them, what they most want to celebrate.
And most importantly, ask them what they do - and do not - want to share.
Yes, this can lead to some feelings of tension, when your creative vision or your expectations as a parent feel like they clash with those of your child. That’s one of the reasons why it’s so helpful to have us on board. We are pros at navigating these waters, and at helping kids to shine through as their own authentic selves with clarity and confidence.
Focus on the Experience
Make the Mitzvah Movie and Montage creation process a memorable part of the overall experience. Take some extra time (as busy as you are during the planning phase!) to walk down memory lane. As you look through photos together, share stories about the moments those photos capture.
Use this preparation time to connect with your child on a deeper and more mature level. Share some real stories about those moments - about how you felt at the time, about what these memories mean to you now that time has passed and you are at such a significant moment in your child’s life - and your family’s.
Be honest. If you come across photos that make you feel not-so-great about how you looked, or if you see those photos now and remember feeling bad about yourself in the moment, but more grateful now to have that moment in time preserved, tell your child. Going through photos may make your tween feel self conscious about how they look now or how they looked when they were younger. Knowing that you have shared those struggles, but that you are able to focus on the what really matters (your family, yourself, your connections to each other) will go a long way in improving your child’s self esteem now and into the teenage years.
Encourage Self Expression
Your child wants to tell - and should tell - their story. Listen to what they want to say and how they want to say it. Give them the space to express themselves and celebrate themselves in their Mitzvah Movie or Mitzvah Montage. In so doing, you will have not only the perfect thing to show at your celebration, you will have a treasured time capsule of this complicated, beautiful, authentic moment in your child’s story.