A Curious Mind - Lessons from a Filmmaker, Inspiration for Parents

I recently read a new book, written by the extraordinary producer, Brian Grazer, entitled A CURIOUS MIND, THE SECRET TO A BIGGER LIFE.  Brian is an incredibly successful producer and the force behind such projects as Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind, and most recently, the hit television show, Empire. He owns his company, Imagine Entertainment with director Ron Howard.

Brian Grazer Photo: IMDB

I have followed Brian’s career for a long time because, as a film producer I am always fascinated by what makes another producer successful. What propels him or her forward?  How do they work best? How do they identify projects and decide to create them or not?  Brian is known in the industry to be hard working, affable and extremely fun to work with.

And now, after reading his book, I understand why.

Photo: Amazon

In A Curious Mind, Brian makes the point that it is the trait of curiosity that creates more success, bigger wins and closer relationships. He offers that the act of asking questions at every juncture brings us closer to our own truths and to those that we are close to.  I couldn’t agree more.

In fact, I think I was drawn to this book because I innately understood that curiosity is the thing that keeps us young - and relatable to our children. Curiosity opens doors in our communication with our kids. When our children are asking us why a million times (while it can sometimes be annoying) it is an opportunity to get to the bottom of what they are trying to understand. And to, in turn, understand them. 

What are they curious about? What moves them? How does their line of thinking work?

It is clear that asking questions of others sets the stage for more truths. It shows that we are interested, engaged and present; all things that our children need us to be.  In honor of Brian Grazer and his book, I offer up a challenge to you. Can you come up with 5 things that you are curious about your children?

Ask them, go deeper, get closer.  And tell us about it!

Here are a few curiosities of mine, conversation starters that we use at Portraits that Move when filming documentaries for families.  Use these as jumping off points, and keep your kids talking.  You - and they - will benefit from it greatly. 

How does it feel for you when you sing?
Do you like the beach or the forest better and why?
What is your favorite summer frozen treat? What do you like about it?
What is your deepest wish?

Curiosity is a core value at Portraits That Move. One that keeps us working hard to meet more kids, to understand them, who they are and all the reasons we celebrate them. 

Celebrating Father’s Day - and My Dad

I love any excuse to celebrate, especially one that honors our family. As far as fathers go, I hit the jackpot. And, to be honest I have struggled to write this because it is difficult to express how much my father means to me (and my son) within the limitations of a single blog post.

One of my favorite pictures ever - my father with his mother, Rose and my son

My father, Steve, is the perfect combination of attributes that make any parent an ideal one. He is quiet and strong, yet filled with enthusiasm. He is a hard worker and an excellent provider, yet is always present at every important event. He is an incredible listener, amazing husband, brother, teacher, colleague, friend and grandfather. His joie di vivre is infectious - he is always up for a new adventure or experience, yet loves his home and creating a home. My father is highly creative, generous and loving. Being in his presence is a gift.

My father has always made me feel like he had full confidence in me, and in my dreams. It has felt as if, in his mind, there is nothing that was impossible for me to do or be.

Watching him with my son has been nothing short of blissful. They both treasure their time together and my son often asks about my father… what he would think of something, what he is doing, where he is at any given moment. 

So today, in honor of my dad, I celebrate all the fathers we love. The ones who work hard and play hard. The ones who bring joy to their children and to their families. Those who we are close to, and those who we have recently had the privilege of getting to know.  Here’s to you! 

I hope you feel as loved and as celebrated as you make us feel every day.

Honor the fathers in your life in a special way with a Father’s Day Portrait from Portraits that Move.

Definition of a Hero

Last week we shot some footage for a campaign of work we are doing with Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation. ALSF is an organization that raises money to fund childhood cancer research.  Last year we created four videos for Alex's Lemonade Stand and this year we are creating more.

We had the opportunity to meet a little boy named Cole and his family who are ALSF heroes. Cole is 11 years old and in remission from cancer. Cole is a powerful kid. He has a huge smile and his zest for life is infectious.

The definition of hero is a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds or noble qualities.  Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation defines all the children that are battling childhood cancer, as heroes and I could not agree more. In my experience spending time with these children (or any other child batting serious illness) these children are motivated, filled with fun and grateful for their lives.

Being in their presence puts things into perspective.  It makes you stop, take stock and assess things. Emotionally, it is the opposite of what one would expect. It is actually uplifting. These children are generous, open and kind. They take each moment seriously, which forces the same for those in their lives. They celebrate everything and joy radiates from them.

I can’t wait to share this video once we finish it and the others that will follow. I feel lucky to have met Cole, Edie, Kaela, Tony and others, and I so look forward to getting a moment to share in their joy and helping to fight the fight of childhood cancer in our own way.

Planning vs. Staying in the Present - A Multitasking Mom's Daily Struggle

Staying present is hard. I am a planner, a list maker, a person who loves structure and organization. It is hard to be a planner and also to be a person who lives in the moment. The planner part of myself takes over.  It keeps the list close, has an ongoing LOUD voice that reminds me of all I have do to do every day.

I feel good when I listen to that voice, when I accomplish and check things off.

The deeper, quieter, more soulful part of myself is more knowing. She knows that we have this one moment, this one breath, that it can be taken quickly and over before we know it. She knows from experience how short life is and she whispers to the planner, “slow down, enjoy, be in this moment, savor it… you have this time, this now, this moment, this chance.”

The planner usually wins out over the voice that reminds me to stay in the present.  But it is a battle every day, every hour.  I think most moms feel this way.

The strength it requires to listen to the voice that keeps us in the present and still feel relaxed when the house is a mess, dinner is not made, work is not done… is some powerful strength.

But it is right. This voice, she is wise and soulful and I want to listen to her more.

I once heard that what a person teaches is what they most need to learn. I think that applies here. With Portraits That Move, we attempt every day to listen to the voice that keeps us in the present. We want to give you that, because once you see and feel and experience a moment of calm presence, a moment of that simple joy, you want more.

Our team, made of professional filmmakers committed to this idea, documents for you the feeling of the present so you can watch the videos and laugh and cry with your children and remember the choice we have every day, every hour, every now.  

Please enjoy the gift we are so pleased to share with all of our clients every day.  Now, I am going to go snuggle with my seven year old, while I still can.

Be a Leader and a Follower - Advice from Grandma Rose

My grandmother, Rose Ludwig, was an extremely wise woman. She lived to be almost 93 years old and had a great deal to teach all of us about life, love, and relationships. She studied psychology and was interested in what makes people tick - especially when it came to matters of the heart. She was happily married for 45 years, so I guess, she knew what she was talking about.

We were very close. One day she said to me, “In every relationship one person is a leader and the other is a follower and it is important that these roles should be able to shift and each person is able to switch places.”  The other day it occurred to me that this is an important theory in regards to how we do our work.

When we show up at someone’s home to shoot a portrait or a snapshot, we have a plan. We have spoken with your family ahead of time and have a structure in mind. We have a system, one that we have carefully created. However, when we get there if the kids want us to know something other than what we have planned, we follow their lead. We let them guide us- we let their truths be the path. We listen carefully to the child, to their needs and to the needs of all of those involved.

The listening can become almost meditative. It is about openness, feeling, sensing and then following. Listening is an empowering act. And ultimately one from which you can derive tremendous knowledge and power. If you listen carefully enough you will know the answers to make the best decisions. One has to be able to follow in order to lead well.

This is important in parenting as well. We are our best selves when we listen, when we take in and absorb what our children need. In listening, we are empowered to be the best parents we can be.

I remember when my grandmother gave me her advice about being a leader and a follower.  I thought, who would want to ever be a follower? She was right though, and I have come to understand that sometimes following is the clearest path to leadership and to our truth.